You're Not LISTENING!

Dear Body,

This is Brain speaking. Apparently you've forgotten who is in charge here, so let me remind you how it goes. I give the orders, you obey. That's how this thing works. I say "Jump", you say "We're already in the air, Captain."

I noticed recently that you've decided to think for yourself. You seem to think that just because you grew a person you can do anything you want, and it seems you're ignoring me all together. Well I'm putting a stop to that. I'm cracking the whip and from now on, we do what I say! You may have grown a person but I wrote the blueprint and don't you forget it. You're nothing without me, do you hear me?

No, wait. Don't go. I'm not really angry. But we need to talk. It's time to let go of the fat. During pregnancy you piled on pounds no matter what I fed you or how hard we worked out. And it was okay. I let it go because we were making a person. But now that person lives on the outside and we're not pregnant anymore. As of last week we're not even breast feeding anymore. It's time. I implore you: let the fat go. It isn't helping any of us. I know, I know; you liked being pregnant. It made you feel proud, gave you a sense of accomplishment. I'll make you a deal. Let go of the fat and I'll turn us in to an athlete. No? Okay, well then, I'll turn us in to a fit, healthy, happy person. And then? When we're done? Maybe I'll let you make another person.

Just this once.