I Call This Piece "Overcompensation in Black"

Behold, my new Linea Paolo shoes, purchased for the wedding we're attending next weekend. I couldn't find a dress that made me look 20 pounds lighter, or even one that made me feel really good, so I'm overcompensating with really expensive shoes. And I luuuurve them. I want to lick them.

So Scottie's friend Jason is getting married next Saturday. Yay for Jay! Jay and Scott have been friends for nearly 14 years and just about every single one of our close friends will be in attendance. I know I just had a baby, and I know there is absolutely no one paying attention to me (Hello, bride in a big white gown) but I still catch myself wishing I'd been able to lose some more poundage before the party. The worst of it is that I'm tired of always wishing the same thing- we've got some big event or another and I'm never excited about the event itself, I'm always worried about how I'm going to look and wishing I'd finally done something about those last ten (or in this case, thirty) pounds. Same old story. So this time I'm going to try to change my attitude. I may be in a bigger dress size and have a more sizeable derriere than ever before, but I'm going to rock that dress and that ass with all the confidence I can muster. I'm going to walk in to that room like I'm Heidi Klum, only I'm going to eat my dinner. I'm going to laugh and dance and drink and have fun, and I'm not going to worry about appearance at all, save for checking my teeth for lipstick and my shoes for toilet paper.

One thing that always works in my favor is that I'm way too narcissistic to just let myself fade in to the background no matter how uncomfortable I am with my appearance. I do not surrender without a fight. Besides the bangin' shoes, I'm also planning on rocking bright red lips and super blonde hair, plus an assload of diamonds and some luxurious cashmere. Fat be damned, I WILL be fabulous, and I WILL feel good. Because I know that at the end of the day my friends want to see me, not my outfit, and the only person even slightly concerned with my appearance is ME.

This blog is about losing the weight and getting in shape, about what I can accomplish when I work hard and when I believe in myself. But it's also about making those changes from a place of self love, not self hatred. Real change only comes from a place of love, from believing you deserve the best, not from believing that you aren't okay as you are.

So who cares if I haven't lost the weight? For once I'm going to look forward to the party and be in the moment, not worrying about what I'll wear and how I'll look or whether or not people are talking about me behind my back.

Yeah, my ass is fat. So you'd better watch out because I plan to SHAKE IT.